Thursday, April 30, 2009

Will there ever be balance?

I have a daily ritual at work.....actually it's a sporatic ritual if there exists such a thing. Although I don't consider myself a superstitious person, the MySpace daily horoscopes from Cheree's MySpace page have crept into my life, carrying a certain power that I refuse to acknowledge....

Today I was talking to Alli about the difference between being spontaneous VS planning things out. Somehow it seems to go against my nature to "go with the flow." I mean I'm capable of flowing, as long as I know about it. I've been given advice my entire life to just let things happen naturally, even FROU FROU sang to me in their song "Let Go." "Let go, let go, jump in. oh what ya waiting for....there's beauty in the breakdown." So you'd think I'd get it. Being a "ponderer" I mulled this advice over in my head today.....until Cheree (bless her heart) opened up the world of MySpace horoscopes to shed some light on my thoughts. Today it reads,

"...It's just not a good idea to allow yourself to become unhinged now, as your spontaneity isn't as effective as your premeditated plan.....The conflict between your romantic heart and your practical head might be enough to distract you from doing much of anything now. Don't act too soon. Let the current emotional stress reach a crescendo before playing your part."

So the questions-----Why should I be spontaneous when clearly according to my horoscope my spontaneity is not as effective as my premeditated plan? Is my sponteneity effective at all? Does this mean that everyone who has ever told me to "go with the flow" is wrong? Is there really a disconnect between my romantic heart and my practical mind? Is this true in general? Am I even capable of being spontaneous? Or as MySpace says, am I, as a Taurus, just doomed to be a planner?

I guess I like to think of it like this. I like to have a plan, I like to have goals, to have something to work toward. I like to measure my progress so I can see how far I've come. I like to have at least an outline for how I want to accomplish my goals. For example I've recently taken on the enormous task to read The Fountainhead. My goal is to read for at least an hour every night until I've conquered The Book. I can see my progress by the steady movement of my bookmark. Page by page I am coming closer to my goal. Sponteneity wouldn't work in this situation would it? Its not practical.
On the flip side, its impossible to really plan things out in life, especially when it comes to the more enigmatic things......like relationships. There is no way to plan how interactions will play out. There is no way to plan someone's choices. There is no bookmark to move along the progression of friendship, or any other relationship for that matter. So perhaps sponteneity is the only option in dealing with or living in an enigma? If this is the case am I screwed?

Will the conflict between my planning and my ability to "let go" really distract me from doing much of anything?

Perhaps MySpace will have some answers in my horoscope tomorrow. Teach me the ways of letting go, learning what it means to really let things happen naturally. Really learn what Thoreau meant when he said "I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die Discover that I had not lived.” Is being spontaneous REALLY living?

Right now I'm not sure. But until I figure it out don't worry........

I have a plan.

1 comment:

Dave Munk said...

you can't read the fountainhead by putting it on the back of your toilet.